There is an ethereal beauty about a woman who recognizes her flaws but doesn’t cower from them, but celebrates them and works everyday to better herself. That sense of self-awareness is rare but truly coveted by all. Hollywood heroines fall and falter, but they get up and slay the dragon. Without waiting for Prince Charming to text back but have an air of knowing that their truest love is self love first and foremost.
Came across a list of 9 Qualities of Confident Women on Huffington Post Women and here are some points that stood out to me:
#4 – They Don’t Conform
“Confident women don’t mirror others to find what makes them happy — they are brave enough to look within.”
As cliche as that may sound, it is definitely a marker to maturity when you can march to your own beat and not worry about the group to find your own happiness. I’ll be honest, my 20s was full of quantity over quality when it came to friends, fun and distractions. The more the merrier. But needing to try everything got tired real quick. Real f*@cking quick. But what caused my confidence to rise was admitting I was tired emotionally trying to please everyone and the slow desire to venture out on my own to try new things. Its a never ending journey and I’m glad I’m on it.
#6 – They Ask For Help
“Mental tune-ups are their soy vanilla lattes. They value a third party bringing out the best in them. Plus, they have someone to blab to about that epic slip-up with you-know-what at the you-know-where and stuff got real.”
Show me your friends and I’ll show you who you are. Harking back to that ‘quality over quantity’ idea I mentioned earlier, having a solid group of people around makes a world of difference when dealing with daily turbulence. No one is perfect and we’re going to mess up along the way, so it’s therapeutic to have non judgmental ears to turn to when you need to vent. I don’t know where I’d be without my sister-friends. That feeling of being able to lay out all my mistakes, mess ups and frustrations without the shame and having honest gut-checks where they hold me accountable, are priceless. No matter how many times the world tears us apart, having a warm circle of friends who help repair you piece by piece is so vital to building your confidence.
#7 – They Own Their Feelings
“No matter what the circumstance is, confident women strive to understand their emotions AND own up to them.”
The good, the bad and the ugly – no matter what you’re feeling you have to speak on it and ride the wave out. Passive-aggressiveness is destructive and can only stunt emotional growth. Being confident enough to speak on what I’m feeling, whether vulnerable, jealous or guilt, I had to practice speaking on it and finding that comfort within myself to lay claim to whatever I’m going through. It got easier with time, but that first step had to happen.
Would you say you’re confident? If not, what are you doing to become so?